Hey guys,
Bryon and I are in need of your Camaro pics. Now, usually when I ask (beg) for pics, I get maybe, if I am lucky, 3 or 4 submissions. This is just plain unacceptable. Yes, I understand that all of us first gen guys are busy and working tirelessly to fix up, restore, and just plain keeping our wonderful Camaros running. Now, of one thing I am certain, if you own a first gen Camaro, you have a pic of it...heck, you have bunches of pics of it....more than you do of photos of your wife, your mother and your first born child combined. All Bryon and I are asking is for you to send us just ONE pic of your Camaro...just one...PLEEAASSSE.
Now, I have asked nicely, and I am sure that all of you are going to take the 2 minutes it will take to send a Camaro pic to the email below. While you're at it, send two or three. Pick your favorites, the one or two photos that really makes your Camaro look awesom.
For those of you that are going to ignore this request, and still think I am not serious about this request, know this...Bryon and I have hired a Haitian Voodoo Priestess (At great expense I might add), and we have instructed her to conjur up Camaro demons, goblins and gremlins...Thousands of them if need be, and she has instructed them to go out into the world and find every single first gen Camaro, and possess them.
Yes, I am being dead serious here...this is no joke. All of you have until Midnight Sunday to send a pic or two of your beloved Camaro to us. If you ignore this very simple request, these demons will be released and believe you me, they will go to town on your Camaro. You think you are going for a nice peaceful and enjoyable cruise with your favorite girl this weekend...think again. It will not happen because you didn't send us your Camaro photo. You car will develop one of the following "hiccups" if you will...a mysterious water pump leak, an alternator that will stop charging your battery even though it's brand new and you just replaced the voltage regulator, your rear wheel cylinder will spring or horrific leak, your power steering will go out, or your engine will just plain die and you will not know why. Is it the points? The fuel pump? Bad coil? Clogged fuel filter? Fouled plugs? Oil leak? You will have no idea what went wrong, and you know exactly what I am talking about. We all have encountered these same demons before, but this will be worse, much worse. Picture these imaginary demons on steroids times ten to the 12th power plus infiniti and beyond.....plus one. That is the damage I am warning you of. That is how much more badder it will get. And for those few that have completely ignored this warning, and are now laughing at this small request and saying to yourself, "Not gonna happen losers"...well, you may just find the next time you look in your garage, that your Camaro has been replaced with a Pontiac Aztec. Not laughing now...are you.
And you guys still working on restoring your Camaros and not planning any driving soon, you are not exempt. I do not give a rat's patootie if your Camaro isn't done. Still in primer, so what! You have some rust...who doesn't! Your wheels and tires are dirty (Really?!...dirty wheels? Shame on you...clean them and then get your Camera, snap a pic or two, and send them in). This site isn't about just show queens, it is about ALL Camaros, OUR Camaros, perfect or not, in progress, who's isn't? I want a pic of your car. And if you fail to heed this dire warning, Those voodoo gremlins will make sure you are in for it. Spent countless hours prepping your Camaro for paint...well imagine some Gremlin putting a squirt of WD-40 in your air line (Fish-eye much?). Imagine him moving your motor mounts over just 1/8th of and inch as you try to install that new crate engine. Ever seen a Gremlin drop a nut down your carb...you know exactly what it is 2 seconds after you start it up? They may even cause you to slip with that screwdriver while installing your new $500 door panels. Or maybe he'll be nice and let you find that last push rod only seconds after tightening down the last valve cover bolt. Oh the fun these evil little trolls will have, and all because you couldn't be bothered to help a fellow Camaro owner out you selfish so and so.
Nice Camaro you got there. It would be a damn shame if somethin bad wuz to happen to it...wink wink nudge nudge, know what I mean? You know what I mean? I'm talking to you. Yeah you, the guy shaking his head no....you with the 67...you know who you are.
My god, we live in a day and age where everyone has a hi-tech camera in their pocket. Would it really kill you to take just ONE pic and send it in? Do you hate us that much that you can't be bothered to send in a single photo? Please, for humanity's sake.
So, at the stroke of midnight Sunday, if Bryon and I do not have at least ten pics of each year (Yes you too you damn lazy 67 Camaro owners), we will instruct the high voodoo priestess to release the kraken....errrr... I mean release her Goblins, Gremlins and Demons, and instruct them to wreak havoc on your Camaro. Havoc will be reeked...I assure you. Heed my warnings. I am warning you for your own good. Bryon has told me I am being way too harsh, but I have told him it must be done. My repeated request will not ignored any longer. I do NOT want to do this, but drastic times call for drastic measures. The high priestess has instructed us and stated that we would have to wear beaver pelt hats, houndstooth patterned PJ's, and pink (or yellow) bunny slippers (Don't judge) while singing a secret chant that has hot yet been written, in order to summon the leader of these demons, goblins and gremlins, whose name shall not me named, and he will send out his army of the unpleasant, and they will search out and seek vengeance on you selfish non-sibmittin Camaro picture people. So be warned, I shall not beg again (unless you want me to). Do it for yourselves, do it for your beloved Camaros, do it because it is the right thing to do, do it for your country...the red white and the blue...it's Uncle Sam who's asking, so your mother will approve, do it for America...do it to shut me up so I don't have to beg and write nonsense like this again.
Plus, I hear that every time someone emails a photo of a Camaro, a millennial gets sad and has not safe space nearby. Also, if you act now, I will personally mail you a coupon for 20% off your next purchase at Bed, Bath and Beyond. You will receive it within a week or two...I guarantee it.
So please please please, send pics now.
Send them to the photo guru, the grand poobah of pics, Bryon. (Seriously, he is really good at this stuff). And please, try to send in a good usable photo. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times someone sends me a photo of what I assume is an awesome Camaro, but you wouldn't know it, because it's out of focus and blurry, cropped so that half the car is missing, shows the gas tank and rear bumper only, or is really a photo of grandma with a small miniscule Camaro a mile away in the background ) I'm not kidding, I get these more than you would think. You all have seen a car magazine at one time...so yeah...pics like that.
And if you are really really nice, and want the gods to sing praises of you...have stories told about you and your Camaro, passed down from generation to generation, for thousands of years, until you have reached godlike status of yourself, with noble stories told of you and your noble chariot defeating the evil forces of the lords of Ford and Chrysler...send in a few pics and a story telling all about your Camaro. Tell us stuff like how you bought it, what you did to it, what you plan to do to it, the good, the bad, the ugly. And Bryon will make you and your Camaro, the FEATURED car of the month. You will become famous, you will be known throughout the world, people will ask for your autograph, Mustang owners will convert, Brad Pitt will ask you for tips on how to pick up hot chicks, and you will be the envy of all. Plus, it would totally cool of you to help us out and stuff.
So, send your pics and possibly your car story to Bryon at:
bcm66@cox.net
You will not be sorry, and soon, one day, you will see your Camaro pic on the CRG homepage website. Now how cool is that?
Thanks guys,
Steve and Bryon.
