Gary, let me know when that orange car with the funny head lights is on Craigslist!
I don't think that will be happening, but your post does deserve a 'reward'...
so here's a Sunday Funny for ya!
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A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" Bill said.
"How much will you charge me?" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50 ?" Bill agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.
Bill's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?" "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded. The wife replied,
"You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."
A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
You're finished already??" the startled Bill asked. Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, Bill reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a '69 Camaro Z28, but I liked it better burgundy than white!"